Come To Terms With The Fact That You Are Wonderful
My name is DeAngelo and I am Darth Mexican, aka the founder of The Geek lyfe. Recently I had to sit down and really evaluate my life on what I wanted, why I had not reached my goals yet, and then what I did in response to not completing those goals. It gave me a lot of insight
and I later found that many others suffer through the same issues so I want to take a moment to talk to you about this. Even if you might have your life together and every single one of your goals is being exceeded with flying colors, it may still help you understand others around you.
I have always had low self esteem, which is not uncommon by those who live the geek lyfe. These doubts creep into our mind at a young age from what society expects of us, by our own short comings, or even just situations beyond our control that we must deal with. Personally, it has always been romance and my failure at even the most basic attempts of flirting, I know for others it might be their weight, height, or income. The vicious cycle that has consumed my life has always been in this order: Become numb to previous failures -> meet someone new that I admire -> overthink the situation -> attempt to address situation with methods that beat around the bush -> admit my feelings far too late -> get rejected -> assume I failed because I am broken and will never succeed -> dwell for an unhealthy period of time -> ruin relationship with person I once admired-> become numb. This would continue again and again until eventually I descended into a depression.
Eventually I hit rock bottom and this caused me to snap back to reality. In this time I found that every single day of my life there were so many people that would come to me and admit that they thought I was an incredible person. They gave me praise and appreciation for me being in their life. However every time I received a compliment, I would shut them down and told them they were dead wrong. It did not matter if they were being casually or serious, I would always refuse to accept their kind words. However when anyone gave the slightest criticism about me or my character, i would accept it wholeheartedly. There were many situations where some people wouldn’t say anything and then I would misinterpret their actions as a dislike for me.
Why is it so easy for us to accept that we are terrible while rejecting any possible notion that we are competent, capable, and wonderful? It doesn’t make any sense at all and yet we wonder why it is so common for our peers to admit they suffer from depression that can sometimes leave them crippled. Why create monsters from shadows that plague us far more than any real threat ever could?
In reality, you absolutely are wonderful. Every single person on this earth is unique and has their own set of skills that makes them valuable. I know it can be difficult to buy into this notion but hear me out. Whenever you walk into a room filled with other people you might start judging them on their appearances or ability to spark a reaction from others. If you do not know anyone then talking to someone random might seem like a daunting task that would only end in
failure because somehow you only make things worse.
Consider the fact that every one of these people were born from a woman just as you were. They have all loved and lost, they have dreams in the works and encounter roadblocks just as you have. During some time in their life they have been in severe pain and were humbled by it. Once you normalize those around you, suddenly they do not seem so extraordinary. Even more so, you become more incredible because some of their life experiences could have been non issues had you been in that situation and vice versa.
Refusing to accept the fact that you are wonderful only ever harms you. It is a poison that will consume your mind with doubts that cause you to miss out on so many fantastic aspects of life. When, instead, you could embrace how great you truly are and walk with confidence in all you do. Even if you enter situations that you are unfamiliar with, it is logically the best move to act as your best self so that instead of focusing on how unqualified you are, you focus on the task at hand.
I guarantee you that at some point in your life you are going to come to the conclusion that you are pretty dope and from that moment forward your life is going to change for the better. When you obtain self respect, it is much easier to reject the things you dislike and fight for what you want. The people around you will shift from those who are toxic to those who only have your best interests at heart! Not to mention your goals will be set up and knocked down at a much faster pace that you have ever seen because you just live your life exactly as you wish!
Even if no one else wants to do what you want, just go and do your own thing. You don’t need other people in order to be happy. You have a pretty good amount of control on your emotional state, it is just the battle of reminding yourself that you are amazing when things go wrong.
I decided to write this as a reflection on my own life and what struggles I had been through and how fantastic life is now that I have accepted that I might actually be worthwhile. I am not the strongest, tallest, best looking, smartest, wisest, or charismatic and yet I love myself because I know that I matter. I have the ability to admit I struggle and it is okay to rejoice in my victories. I can cry or scream when times are bad but also laugh and smile when the good times roll in. It doesn’t matter who is with me because I have myself and that is more than enough. Had I not changed my way of thinking then I would have never embarked on so many adventures or made so many friends. I wouldn’t wake up in the morning with purpose and have no problem standing up for what I believe in.
So I leave you with this question: When you will accept the fact that you are wonderful? You could have everything you ever wanted, you just needed to reach out and take it. It is going to happen eventually, but would you really want to have this epiphany at the age of 50 or right now? So what are you waiting for?